Monday, 29 August 2016

Dear Diary: A Little Life Update

I feel like I just need to sit down and let my fingers dance around the keys whilst I have my first coffee of the week. I'm trying to cut down in the hope that it'll make me a bit less like Professor Quirrel in the Philosopher's Stone when he's all jumpy and jittery because Voldemort is literally living on the back of his head. Spoiler alert. I guess I just want to give you a little life update because in such a short space of time everything has changed and it feels silly not to explain it all and get my whizzing thoughts down on paper (well, down on screen). So grab yourself a chocolate finger or two and get comfy whilst I ramble and fill you all in because gal just needs to VENT.



If you know me personally or read my blog often you'll know that I'm now in my third year of studying to become a Primary teacher and that, as part of my degree, I'll be spending the whole year working in a Primary School. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty bloomin worried about this transition because I've only ever had the luxury of working as part time as part time can get in a job that I absolutely love and doesn't even feel like work tbh. Plus I kind of felt like my four month Summer, although it was the best thing to happen all year, had drained all of my ability to be a fully functioning adult in the outside world. I was stuck in a vortex of my fluffy dressing gown, Catfish reruns and 3am bed times that I didn't know how to break out of. How the freakin heck was I going to be able to get up at stupid o'clock, go in to school day after day and be shiny for a class of 26 eager children?

But as with most things in life, it just happened. On my first day last Monday, I got up, got dressed, drove to school and got. stuff. done. And I felt so good for it. I had a purpose and responsibility again. I felt mature and accomplished and replenished, like the world is my oyster and that I'm just around the corner from stumbling across the biggest, shiniest pearl - which I guess in my mind represents a career that makes me feel all of these feelings I've spoken about.  The staff are so friendly and my class are just the best kids I could have asked for. And although I've only been there for a week, I already feel happier, sparklier and just more me - and I guess that's because this is what I'm meant to do in life and just to have that reaffirmed is such a relief.

However, always the realist, I know it's going to be a tough year and that I might not always feel this together and enthusiastic. I've never been so tired in my life (for real, come 8 o'clock I can't even keep my eyes open), essays and teaching assessments won't be long in coming round. I just wish I could bottle my feelings right now so I could take a sip every time things get a bit much but I guess this blog post will have to do - someone please remind me that I wrote this in a few months time.

Which leads us on to the small issue of blogging. Blogging, blogging, blogging. It's the one thing that's putting a slight sliver of worry in to my optimistic world of pearls, oysters, PVA glue and cute teacher dresses with collars. Because right now I'm not quite sure where it fits in with my life of being totes profeshh, busy bee Miss Egan. I want more than anything for it to all work out and for me to be posting super regular content that you all enjoy but I'm not stupid. I know it's going to take a bit of figuring out and getting used to but I'm determined to find a little routine. So I guess for now all I'm saying is please bear with me, I'll find my feet eventually and make it all work, I'm sure of it. But for now I'm just going to focus on posting weekly and hopefully increase the frequency when I stop going to bed earlier than my actual Primary 4s do. Shout out to all you full time workers with blogs, I'm only now beginning to realise that you actually have super powers.

So I guess that's you all caught up. Luckily for you, I've not listed all 26 of my class' names or shown you pictures of every single teacher after stalking them on Facebook - soz Mum, Dad and Blair. I really hope you all have the best academic year and remember, as Blair's Dad reminded me at the start of the week, you make your own luck in life. All the love in the world you little babes <3.
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6 comments

  1. Good luck! I would definitely take things one step at a time. There's nothing wrong with taking a step back from blogging for a while, or even taking three months off. I started my blog after I'd been working for three months and I felt like I had a bit of free time in the evenings to fill and it's worked out pretty well. Always remember to put your career and health first. You'll be amazing!

    Lisa | Farawaylisamae.com

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    1. Thanks so much for the advice, things have definitely been slower on the blogging front whilst I've been settling in but I'm feeling more and more ready to get back in to the swing of things now. Xx

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  2. I hope you had a great time teaching, it sounds like you're really passionate towards it (which is a good thing obviously!). Don't worry if you take some time off blogging, I can't imagine how hard it must be to be working a full time job as well as keeping track with your blog. So don't worry, we will all support you.

    Tabitha x
    http://whattabithaloves.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thanks so much Tabitha, that means a lot! Xx

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  3. Love this post Em, so honest and true and can always rely on you to make me smile (as per!)
    Love, Maddie. | Oh So Maddie

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    1. Aww thank you Maddie, sending love. Xx

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