Tuesday, 28 June 2016

20 Things I Learned in my Teenage Years

I've done it boos. I've survived my teenage years and I'm literally running away from them in the opposite direction as fast as my lanky legs will carry me. Although it's slightly freaking me out that I'm now the same age as Kendall Jenner and yet still struggle to find motivation to shave my legs and have never tried avocado, I'm looking forward to what my twenties will bring (clear skin, please let it be clear skin). I'm not going to lie, a recipe for my adolescence would probably include 300g of raging, uncontrollable hormones, 2 cup fulls of irredeemable embarrassment, a heaped table spoon of bad decisions and poor judgement and a sprinkle of Maybeline Dream Matte Mousse foundation. Granted, it might not result in the tastiest cake but it does make for a pretty interesting learning curve. So here are 20 of the most important things I've learned from being a teenager and maybe if you're still in the prime of your youth, you could learn from them too and save yourself from some unduly humiliation or tears. Just trying to help a gal out.

1. Wearing purple mascara with the sole intention of it matching your school tie is not the best way to make friends on your first day of high school. However, continuing to do so for the next two years is just downright stupidity and you will regret it profusely.

2. Arrive at least 2 hours late to every party. Always. That way, when you get there, you have your pick of people to chat to and you aren't stuck sitting in the living room with three people you've barely met who's Mums convinced them it was rude to go late.

3. Books are your friends. They will change the way you view and think about the world and some of the ones you read as a teenager will stay with you for the rest of your life. And, regardless of what's going on in your life, they will always provide you with an escape for a few hours.

4. The phone in rice trick does work just whatever you do, don't try to turn your phone on beforehand!! Or you know...just don't take your phone in the bath with you and check your back pockets before you sit down for a wee.

5. A foot fetish is in fact not a type of fungal disease...who knew? But it is still 100% not something that you want to have.

6. Your Mum is mostly likely right about everything and everyone. If she has a bad feeling about a boy or one of your friends, you can bet your bottom dollar that they will probably do something awful to you in the long run and you will come home with your tail between your legs to cry to her about them. And she still won't say 'I told you so', Mums are the best.

7. Whatever you do, don't get involved in social media fights. Trust me, I know how hard it is to refrain from letting your angry fingers have free reign over a keyboard when someone indirect tweets your best friend because omg girl, just you wait and see how I can put you in your place using only 140 characters (including 2 emojis), but it never ends well. It just doesn't. And they will probably say something worse to you than they did about your friend in the first place and you will be left sitting at home trying to hold back the tears whilst working out a way to slyly delete your tweets.

8. You might not realise it at the time, but school is quite a cushy lil deal you've got going on there. All of your friends are in the one place, the commute doesn't financially ruin you and make you consider declaring bankruptcy and it finishes at half flippen three. Although, it's completely natural to hate it and swear you'll never miss it so keep doing you, I understand.

9. It's so super okay and actually mature to remove toxic people from your life who are having an effect on your happiness or wellbeing. Just make sure you go about it in civil and constructive way and maybe don't do a me by making a 'People I Need to Remove From my Life in 2011' list on the Notes section of your phone, lol heyyy.

10. It's so normal to feel that you're weird or different or that you don't fit in and I guarantee the majority of people around you are thinking and feeling the exact same thing and tbh they're all right, everyone is super freakin weird. You're actually probably the most normal.

11. Stay away from that type of boy. Yes he might have a car and bring a bit more excitement to your life but if you feel crap after you've been with him because he made yet another comment about your weird hairline that you didn't even know was weird until he brought it up, wore his jeans half way down his thighs and said he wasn't sure when he'd be free to see you again, run. away. (Like really far away).

12. As you get older, your circle of friends naturally gets smaller but it doesn't mean that you're becoming less popular or fun to hang out with, you're just left with the good eggs that are going to look out for you no matter what (and are less likely to judge you when you in turn up to their house wearing an outfit that might resemble pyjamas). ((Ok, yes, it's definitely pyjamas)).

13. It's so important to have a little list of things and activities that you know will always make you feel better when you feel a bit down. For me, Legally Blonde, a lil swim and some Pom Bear crisps never go a miss.

14. Eyebrows are without a doubt the most important feature on your face. Unfortunately for me, however, I realised this a good 17 years too late. So don't over pluck, wax at home or fill them in without watching a good few tutorials first and if in doubt just leave it to a professional. I promise it's the best £6.50 you will spend all month. Ps. everyone has at least a little bit of a monobrow and it is so totally nothing to be ashamed about, so just keep some tweezers handy and don't stress out about it.

15. Periods and hormones shouldn't be making you feel eternally crap all month long and no matter how bad it seems, things can always be improved. So get to your GP gurl, that's what they're there for. And don't worry, no matter how embarrassed you are to say it out loud, they really don't get freaked out talking about periods. Chances are they've already examined at least four orifices they deffo didn't want to explore that day.

16. Spending your life counting calories when there's really no need as you're perfectly healthy but just pining for that Instagram bikini bod is no way to live, so just eat that bloomin slice of cake.

17. You'll spend your whole life wondering what it feels like to be in love then all of a sudden out of no where you'll finally understand the meaning of the saying 'when you know, you know'.

18. Dry shampoo is your soulmate and keeping a cute mini can of it in every handbag you own is the biggest favour you can do yourself.

19. Sometimes there's nothing else for it but to sing scream Bey's Best Thing you Never Had whilst you cry your eyes out in the shower to the point where you no longer know what's tears and what's water. And I promise the more you keep singing it, the more you'll believe it and the faster you'll get over the idiot.

20. Everything is transitory and nothing ever stays the same which means the bad things can't last forever. So be patient and wait out the sad times because they will get better (but in the mean time a Twix and some caribbean crush Lucozade never hurt anybody).


  1. Number 4 made me laugh! I actually recently went swimming with my phone in my pocket (idiot i know) and the phone trick worked for 5 mins

    Great post thanks for sharing

  2. These are some great little hints for someone hurtling out of their teenage years! As I creep into my 30's (URGH) I still feel like I'm about 21/22. The best years of my life were those in my 20's!

    Lottie xx

  3. This was such a fun little read! For shame about the purple mascara not really working out though. Sadly moms are just about always right, which is a bit creepy when you stop to think about it because how do they know so much? (:

    Single Vegas Girl

  4. This is amazing - and all so true! My eyebrows when I was a teenager were an absolute state! Wish I'd known all of this when I was actually in my teens...!

    Milly | Mini Adventures

  5. Mums are always right about friends that drain the life out of you, weather it will rain that day and which boyfriends are toxic!

  6. Sadly moms are just about always right, which is a bit creepy when you stop to think about it. personal training is the best option for regular exercise and fitness.


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