Monday, 5 October 2015

Mistakes, Forgiveness and Other Dilemmas

At the ripe old age of nineteen, it's not surprising that like every other person on this planet, I've been hurt by other human beings. And again, unsurprisingly, I've hurt other human beings too. We've all experienced a snide comment from someone we don't really care about online or a funny look from a passing stranger but it can be hard to know how to react when the person who hurts us is someone we love. Sometimes we question if they ever really loved us back in the first place. But no matter how much we may want to, we can't switch our love for that person off instantaneously, regardless of how much they've upset us. And that's where the dilemma comes in.

  




Sometimes we place our family/friends/partner on a pedestal. We love them so much that we forget that they're human, not only fallible but actually quite likely to make mistakes. So when these people don't live up to the amazing expectations we have of them it can cut like a knife. When the deed is done or the words are said they can't be taken back. So now the next steps are left up to the hurtee and not the hurter. My biggest piece of advice would be to ignore every initial raging instinct inside of you and stay calm. You don't want to do or say something you regret and lose someone you really care about.

No one can tell you how you should react when someone has upset you, especially since no two situations are the same. I think deep down you will know how able and willing you are to forgive and move on. However, one thing I will say is that forgiveness does not constitute weakness, in fact I think it's the complete opposite. It takes strength and courage to leave the past in the past and look to the future.

Although it may feel like the last thing you want to do, try your best to stay gracious, kind and forgiving. Holding someone's past mistakes over them as a weapon is not helpful for anyone. If someone is apologetic and remorseful this means something. If they didn't care about you, seeing you upset wouldn't affect them, I think it can be hard to remember this sometimes. Don't forget about all the good times you've had with this person. If their mistake is a one off and you can't imagine your life without them then you should at least try to repair your friendship/relationship, if you want to badly enough I think it's achievable.

(NB. However, I would like to point out that a mistake is one thing but you do not owe anything to someone who continually treats you badly.) 

Life is so so short and making mistakes, saying things we don't mean and taking people for granted are all rubbish parts of being human. I make mistakes all the time and I'm so thankful to have people in my life who forgive me when I've been an idiot so I guess it's only fair I repay the favour!! I hope this post reminds you that love, friendship and happiness are the most important things in life. Thanks for reading!

"It's not how we make mistakes, but how we correct them that defines us." 



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12 comments

  1. Agreed. I think we often expect people to be perfect, when of course no one is. If we can take the time to find their intention, it's usually not what we interpret it to be. Its often just an accident, or misjudgement, or miscommunication.

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    1. Yes definitely! Can be hard to remember this in the moment. X

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  2. Amazing message .. Beautifully written

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  3. You're so right! Sometimes I can be such an idiot and say things I don't really mean, but I still have people who forgive me for that and accept me with all my mistakes and oh... I'm so thankful for that.
    Thanks for posting this! xx

    Daria ~ wayinspire.blogspot.com

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    1. Absolutely, me too! Thank you. X

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  4. Hey, lovely post. I completely agree with you that it takes a strong person to forgive someone. I also think that we can eventually find in our hearts forgiveness for anyone, no matter what they have done (eventually.. This could be years later after an incident). It's too toxic for us to be holding onto something bitter and we don't deserve that. It's much easier to eventually let go and free ourselves from that stress. If they repeatedly upset you then I agree with you that they are not worthwhile. For such people I think you have to let go of them entirely, to save ourselves from further pain.

    Ayesha xxx
    Http://alycheeaday.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you! Couldn't agree more, sometimes we owe it to ourselves to forgive simply for our own wellbeing. Xx

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  5. I think you are absolutely spot on with this post and to only be 19 and know this is amazing! You are so wise and have written this beautifully xx

    Sam // Samantha Betteridge

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    1. Thank you so so much, what a lovely comment! xx

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Love Emma

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